RETURN TO SCRAPBOOKS

Weekend cleanup day - I started the day intending to clear out the voluminous files underneath the big built-in closet - maybe throw out the old ones I don't need anymore and just keep the ones I need in a neat little plastic organizer. But instead, I found my old scrapbooks and diaries underneath all the rubbish and ended up reminiscing with my kids about the past...my past!

The kids started looking at old pictures and asking questions about the strange faces they see and it was fun looking back at those moments and seeing the expressions on our faces as we savored the experience...I saw too that my 2006 scrapbook was only halfway done ---just shows how much of a procrastinator I am - always very eager to start a project but never really ending or finishing the project! Then, I found my 2006 diary and I figured, maybe I could still do this - finish the scrapbook since I was still able to record most happenings and emotions I have felt during that year...

That was also when I realized that it was TOTALLY WRONG for me to NEGLECT writing in my diary in 2008 and 2009 and just relied on my electronic blog since during the times I neglected my blog there is NOTHING that I could go back to...no record of events that happened...no recollection of emotions that I have felt...because you see...it was a fun moment to look back and remember what happened last year or even five years ago...it was even more fun to share with my kids what I did in college ...and recall to them my experiences with friends in high school...it's like I'm reliving the moments all over again just by reading an entry in a diary or a page in a scrapbook...so I guess I need to make a firm resolve to truly do these things once again - doing scrapbooks and writing in diaries - it's one sure way to preserve memories - whether good or bad.

So what am I doing...still awake at 11 p.m. at a weekday yet! when I wake up really early at 5 am everyday to prepare the kids' baon and help them get ready for school...nothing really...just that I found the urge to write again...what?!? Did I get that right? writing again??? yes...it's true...all of a sudden I've found the urge to write -no fireworks... no big explosions - I just found myself rummaging thru the inner recesses of my bag for the blue blogging notebook (yup the one which I bought seemingly ages ago to jot down spur of the moment blogging notes). But this time I'm not just writing notes but this full-length article!

I guess even if the computer is just within my reach I find it hard to start writing again because I truly took hard the fact that they took away the laptop the office issued... although at the time I didn't want to accept that yet. So now I guess it's a start that I'm starting to find the urge to write...even if the old fashioned way. I realize that I don't really need a computer to write... all I need is to get back to basics - just a pen and paper and my thoughts...(In fact, I'm typing this in the computer and posting this entry 2 months later)

Well, I am in no special hurry ... I hope to take this one step at a time - and not rush myself into anything... I know it's a bit tedious business writing in a notebook cum diary then typing and posting in the next few days or even weeks...but I'll manage somehow. I know I'll never hope to come close to professional bloggers like my idols Sassy lawyer or Marketman or Ivan or Anna Manila - who always manage to write about anything and everything they put their minds to... but I hope to get there too someday and today is the first day of my journey - so please bear with me...

Wish I could blog more often

This post is not intended to explain my infrequent posts in this blog…well not quite…?!? You see, I have noticed that during the beginning of the year, I have blogged a bit more regularly like once a week and at times even 2x a week. These past few months, however, I have noticed myself putting together an entry once every two weeks na lang...And I wonder why??? Most of the time when I have finished all my regular tasks in the office (usually this is around three or four pm), I browse my fave blogs and whenever I read other people’s blogs I feel a sense of regret that I am not able to write as often as they could… or say the words I want to say like the way they do.

There are even times that I wish I could just stay at home more often so I could just write and write to my heart’s content. But in truth, even if I am home, I still am not able to write. There are times when I feel too tired… like when I am at home during weekends, it gets too taxing doing mommy chores like cooking, washing and ironing clothes(especially the kids’ uniforms), cleaning house, etc. etc ( because our yaya goes home every Saturday morning and only comes back on Monday before we go off to work) so I am left to do everything by myself during weekends.

And when there are rare times that I am able to get some precious time for myself… I do not find the inspiration nor the inclination to write. I would just be staring at my blank computer screen for a few agonizing minutes then I would end up turning it off altogether… which is why I would often wonder where these ‘professional bloggers’ find the inspiration to write about anything and everything under the sun… I wish I could be more like them. I wish I would find the inspiration to write every time I face the monitor…I wish I would have more time to blog…I also wish I’d have permanent internet access at home because even if I do have a laptop or desktop to use, I still can’t post or browse as much as I wanted to…I’d have to save my work in a flash drive and find the time and opportunity to post only when I get to the office…I wish too that I could someday find for myself a true-blue genie in a bottle to make all these blogging wishes of mine come true…