We thought we had it all neatly planned when we decided to have kids six years apart. We figured we didn’t want the two of them in college at the same time because it would surely take a toll on our expenses… so we wanted one of them already finished and working, hoping he or she would help us in the younger kids’ education. But what we didn’t count on was the fact that most of the other important occasions in their lives would be in conflict, well not openly...
For one thing, we didn’t exactly plan that their birthdays would fall two weeks apart from each other. So that the eldest would often have to give way and not have a ‘big’ event if the younger sibling would hold a big bash. This became extremely difficult when we held our little girl’s first birthday – of course, this had to be a big event but what we didn’t count on was the fact that our son would also be holding his seventh birthday on the same year – another big event! By then, our expenses were already depleted by the first kid’s birthday … luckily for us our boy wasn’t overly demanding and was happy to spend his birthday in a nearby pool resort with the rest of the family and his cousins and friends for company. So we were able to manage just fine.
This year, we had another tough time with their two graduations coming just two weeks apart from each other. Although we didn’t have money to spend for both – we at least had some pansit, spaghetti, barbecued pork and inihaw na bangus during my daughter’s graduation. Plus both her lolas and two aunts were invited to witness the affair. While on my son’s graduation, we were the only ones who attended and we feasted on Greenwich takeout afterwards.
Sure it could be argued that they have two very different cases – the first one was special because my little girl graduated valedictorian in her class of ten kids. Then her ceremony was held in the afternoon – very plenty of time for the invitees to have an early dinner celebration and still go home to their place in Cubao. Unlike in my son’s graduation which was held at night and lasted until 11 pm so we had no choice but not to invite anyone coz it would be too late for the visitors to go home. We even had to change our original plan of eating at a restaurant after the ceremony since the ceremony took so long so the hubby decided to skip some parts of the graduation just to go to a nearby Greenwich and order takeout instead….
But at least, I guess I am just glad that we were able to hold both ceremonies without much of a hitch. Sure, my elder son said that he didn’t mind it much that his celebrations always seem to end up a little bit tamer/economical than his sister’s. I just hope it would not cost much friction between them when they get older. Or even cause him much insecurity later on in life… like my siblings did with me coz they felt that my parents seemed to give me more concessions than them as we were growing up. I try very hard to keep myself from comparing them or even pitting them against each other… but it’s quite difficult.
I admit that there are times when I would often favor the little girl over him because he is older and he should be the one to concede; or because he is already fat and so he should give more of the food to his very much thinner sister; or that he had his time when he was young and growing up without competition… but then, I realized that he didn’t really grew up with us but with his grandparents in Pampanga so I guess he would have his reasons to brood and act up. But thankfully, he does not… and I just hope he’d end up growing just as satisfied and balanced boy that he is right now. I just hope I would be able to give all my kids equal love and attention – coz they surely deserve nothing less!
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