I don’t know why these two so very disparate events are often lumped together …maybe it’s because of Hugh Grant and Julia Roberts’ movie back in 1994...or maybe because these two events have in common the capability to turn people emotional though in totally different ways. Before the year 2008 ended, I had the misfortune to attend the funeral of a person quite close to my heart.
The funeral happened in the beginning of December, I woke up one morning to find a text from my mother asking for prayers for her sister Ate Fe. She was my mother’s closest sister – her confidante, the one she turns to in times of despair. Despite the many times that Ate Fe has conned her…my mother has forgiven her many times over and has welcomed her back with open arms. Ate Fe has become a semi-permanent fixture in our lives – especially there in our times of trouble – like when our babysitter just quits and we had no one to accompany us at home while both our parents are at work… she would willingly leave her abode and be there for us. Or when our weekly labandera/plantsadora failed to report for work…she’d be there and do the laundry and ironing chores (for my mother’s sake!) Or when an older relative dies or suddenly falls sick and my mom had to go to some far-flung province to take care of said ailing relative – she’d be there always willing and able to accompany Mama as they accomplish their earthly missions.
When I finally saw her body …I couldn’t believe it was actually her… no, it isn’t that I didn’t want to accept that she was dead (or maybe that was a bit part of it) but because her picture in death was not exactly as I recalled her to be – always fun and lively – with a kind word or two to everyone she meets. In death, she seemed sad, desperate even – as if totally unwilling to let go of the people she knew would be left behind… The people who were with her in her last moments recall that she kept praying to God not to take her just yet. But I guess God has other plans … and it’s for us to just accept it.
Though I lived so far from them and was often not able to visit them during family affairs … I decided to attend her funeral rites to pay my last respects to a woman who has stood by my mother no matter what --- and at the same time be her rock of support. As the last cries of Ate Fe’s sons, daughters, nieces, nephews and grandchildren echoed on that fateful afternoon, I heard my mother whisper words of comfort to finally let Ate Fe go in peace and accept what happened --- I just hope she takes these words to heart and not dwell on her grief and sadness too much.
The second event was a wedding of a close friend in the office – both of them are our officemates and no…it wasn’t a sad occasion for us that they got married but rather a truly poignant one. They have been together for quite some time already – maybe as long as we have been together – they have three kids na together and they all stood as sponsors to the event. It was a pretty picture that the family made…and why am I writing about this? Well, I was just wondering why they got married at all…no, I don’t mean that in a bad way…it was just that I figured the cost of having a church wedding is so high these days so I was thinking why they had to bother when they were already married in civil rights in the first place???
If you ask me, I wouldn’t waste money on a church wedding…maybe if we renew our vows in like…fifteen, twenty or even twenty-five years, maybe that’s the time I would get married in church or have a priest solemnize our vows…Sure, every girl dreams of walking down the church aisle in a long white dress and the man of your dreams at the end of the altar with a choir serenading in the background…but I don’t have the extra money for it…I’d rather spend it on the kids’ education and the regular upkeep of the household…but that’s just me! Back to the couple friend of ours – I wish them luck in keeping their marriage…it’s gonna be tough-sailing…well, that’s what every marriage has to go through, even one like ours. Here’s wishing all of us lots of luck and love to keep the flames of togetherness alive for many more years to come.
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