Rite of passage


Many kids look forward to the season of summer. For them it is a fun-filled time because there would be no more school, no more teachers, no more books and lengthy assignments! It would also mean summer outings – a dip in the pool, a visit to a beach or even a day at the mall. But there are times when a kid may also view summer with dread because it is also often the time when they would have to undergo a certain ritual – to finally become a man – circumcision.

Yesterday, the 16th of April, my eleven-year son underwent such a ritual. His circumcision has long been put off, by me mostly because for a dozen or more reasons. At first, I was fearful that he was still too young (that was when he was in grade four, I think?), then the next year I was hoping to have some other cousin join him since I reasoned the experience would be a bit more bearable if you have someone to share the pain with… but alas there was no one and this year it could not anymore be put off since by next year he would be in high school and he would be ridiculed by his peers if they learn he was still ‘supot’.

And so with a heavy heart I let him go to a nearby health center to undergo this ritual by himself. I wanted to go with him but I couldn’t really bear the thought of actually seeing him (or any of my kids for that matter undergoing even such a minor ‘procedure’) and besides my husband wouldn’t let me because he reasoned he had his circumcision too all by his lonesome so his son must too. I would’ve wanted some other responsible adult with him but my sister-in-law was at the province, so I just let his two cousins join him at the center.

From what I understand from my reading in the net, circumcision is the process of removing some of the foreskin from a person’s penis. Its origins were a bit vague although the first depictions of circumcision appeared in ancient Egyptian tombs. It is also considered a religious commandment and an obligatory ritual in Islam.

It was also quite unclear why the men need to undergo circumcision at all but as of present count global estimates suggest 30% of males all over the world are circumcised (from Wikepedia) and they are mostly in the Middle East and Africa. Some who oppose circumcision claim that it infringes on the individual’s bodily rights (especially the ones conducted on infants), they also say that it is medically unjustified and part of a pagan ritual.

Advocates of the ritual maintain that it ‘is a worthwhile public health measure that has no substantial effects on the sexual function and has no complication rate when properly done’. While the World Health Organization report state that male circumcision significantly reduces the risk of HIV although it only provides partial protection and should not replace other interventions to prevent HIV transmission.

Reading that somehow eased my mind but I still could not get off that nagging feeling… what if my son happened to fall under the percentage of circumcisions that goes bad??? How would he deal with the pain after the anesthesia has worn off…? So after lunch, I called the house and his cousins told me that he was in a bit of pain and already took his medicine to ward off the pain and infection. I wasn’t able to talk with him because he was sleeping and I only learned about his side of the story when I got home.

It turns out that his ‘procedure’ was even a bit delayed… because he stood in line from 7 am and skipped breakfast he was already a bit white-faced when the doctors called his name at around 11 am. Maybe both from nervousness and lack of food, the docs feared he might be having low blood pressure symptoms so they let him lay down for awhile to steady his vitals. They performed the circumcision on him a bit later only after the blood in his face has returned.

Aside from that brief fear, he said it wasn’t painful at all… and I took him at his word. Everyday, he bravely and meticulously cleaned his ‘wound’ (if you may call it that) all by himself because he doesn’t want me nor any of the ‘older folks’ help him in cleansing it… and so we just let him be. After all, it’s another one of those things that would signal his passage into manhood… sooner or later I should expect these things to happen coz my son is not a little boy anymore. He would soon start doing things without me and so I must start to accept such an eventuality. But for the meantime, I would treasure moments when I still get to hold his hand, hug him and kiss his cheek without fear that he’d say eow!!!...and turn away with a reproachful look at me while looking furtively if his friends saw what I just did… yes, I’d enjoy my moments being a mom for him, while I still can…